where I'm at

224 lbs

I've never owned a scale of my own, mainly because in my obsessive days, I would check my weight three to four times a day which is just silly, and clearly unhealthy. Today I headed over to Target and decided to go ovaries out and buy one; how else will I track my progress? When I stepped on the scale, I was seriously concerned I would break it (mainly not due to my girth but because the thing cost $8 and appears to be made of paper.)

224 lbs. This is officially the most I have weighed in my 21 years of life, but instead of dwelling on it and burrowing into an emotional hole filled with Chinese food and Seth Rogen films, I'll simply accept it and move forward.

My smokin' bod.

I'm 5'2" and I've always been petite. Most of my coats swallow my arms whole and any given pair of pants need to be cut, cuffed, hemmed or stomped on mercilessly until they fall apart. I'll always be grateful for my particular shape because I've always had an hourglass figure (slightly less so as my chub migrates upwards) and a defined waist. My hips do not lie, despite what you may have heard, and I've got an ass that just don't stop (I could describe my body entirely in prose composed of rap lyrics.) I will always be a thicker girl and I am beyond okay with it; if anything, I've learned to embrace every squishy bit of it and I'm equally attracted to girls who have something to hang onto. Just as a matter of personal preference, I prefer girls who are curvy or athletic.

As for setting goals, in my minds eye I have a clear idea of what my ideal weight would be but I'm trying to scrap that entirely and let my body guide me. If I can truthfully say that I'm making the right decisions for my body and that produces only 10-20 lbs of net weight loss, so be it.

Now I'm off to get a vegan burrito at Cheechako Taco and meet some Fresh Meat! I wouldn't mind if said meat was scrumptious. I'm just saying...